I just heard on a podcast that loneliness can cause you to die 15 years early. So let's look on the bright side! When you've been single almost your whole life like I have you learn a thing or 2. If you want to skip the read and hear it live, just grab tickets to my show 33 Years Single this fringe!
1.Freedom
It's extremely cliche but "Freedom" encapsulates multiple facets of your life. With the right person you'd hope this isn't an issue because we'd all like to think your relationship should be healthy enough to have this built into it. But a connection like that is the equivalent of being one of the "elites" in America, except that the girlfriend is over 18.
Freedom might mean that you get to play the new GTA 6 without being hassled to "stop shooting hookers and watch sex and the city with me" or it may mean that you only have to ask yourself "What would I like to eat?" then order it and get to devour 100% of it with no acrylic lacquered, seagull talons reaching in for "just a bite". If you want to go to the pub with the boys on the weekend you don't need to check what anyone elses plans are, except for the boys (or their wives and girlfriends).
I've always been a solo traveller so if you do decide that you're heading to bali for 10 days, you just book it and do it. It works out even better when you accidentally book the equivalent of a honeymoon suite. See the video below for the real life scenario.
2. Nobody Nitpicks you
It's great when you get to be your own self critic without anyone else double teaming you. Something as simple as sitting with your leg bouncing can set the other person off , yes I'm aware that examples is quite specific but ADHD does weird things to my limbs haha. It's great when you can work through little annoying habits with each other by using effective communication, however sometimes it is nice to not have to worry about deciding to smash down a burger without breathing.
3. You can be selfish
When you have no one but yourself to think about you can do whatever you actually want to do. There is no compromise on restaurants, events or choice of netflix series. You can sleep in and not have to go to that 6am Pilates class with your partner. Granted, it probably is really good for you and you help yourself as well as your relationship but still, you can press snooze and sleep for another 4 hours. You can choose to do some work on yourself too. When there is no one else to be stressing about you become the number 1 priority so single life lets you do a bit of self love which is more than just masturbating. Personally, I have done some RTT therapy with my counsellor friend Chelsea Morgan (reach out here if you like!) as well as a cool past life regression session where unfortunately I didn't learn about my past life as a Peaky Blinder but did learn how to find a really relaxing, happy place. If this is up your alley here is a contact. Fuck it, since I've mentioned it, below is the episode from my podcast interviewing Boris Walter about past life Psychotherapy!
4. Save Money This is the italian genes coming out here. I actually enjoy spending money on a person I care about and love splashing out on date nights, dinners, events and flights overseas. But by default, when you're spending money on travel, accommodation and food for one, it's 50% of the cost! I bet that if you ask anybody that's divorced, they'll probably let you know what 50% meant to them.
5. Bed Space
This one is just a nice, soft finisher, like me after too many drinks. I'll never forget the conversation I had with a girl that was sleeping over at my place. She cheekily mentioned that I was on "her" side of the bed. I had to inform her that I own the bed, the whole bed is my side of the bed mofo. I'm a night owl and really struggle with falling asleep as it is, let alone when anyone is next to me. After sleeping on my own for 30 odd years, having a new nocturnal nomad next to you kind of changes it up a bit. I have a bad habit of throwing on a podcast and nodding off and when I have a girl next to me I have to be respectful of them and turn it off which throws my sleep patterns out. I've accidentally found myself in the subculture of falling asleep to the Ricky Gervais podcast. Karl Pilkington could well be the funniest man alive. Coincidentally, if you're looking for one to sleep to can I suggest, The Hard Yarns Podcast (we need the plays to make $5 a week in advertising) For reasons unknown to me I also need to hug something against my stomach to sleep. Nothing better than a good snuggle but a "U" shaped pillow doesn't have knees to get in the way. Unfortunately they don't have tits either so I am more than happy to sacrifice the one pillow and replace it with 2.
I don't think that being single is better than having a relationship or vice versa. I love having a partner and being able to share my life with someone, however it just hasn't worked out for me so far. I also love the autonomy and drive I have to improve when I am single. Both statuses have their pros and cons. The cons being what the next blog will focus on. There are tonnes of other reasons why being single is great but these are what came to mind as I type this while sitting here on the balcony in Uluwatu, with a vodka in hand, living my best single life. See photo evidence here:)
With Valentines day coming up, if you are planning on taking someone out, my ADHD brain would not let me sleep so I created some funny Valentines cards, have a look below.
To hear some of my funny stories about dating or single life, check out my upcoming show dates here.
Be sure to follow my instagram page for comedy @danieldelby and @danieldelbycelebant for funny wedding stuff. If you really wanna help out, my 2024 goal is to build my youtube presence so here's my comedy channel and here's my celebrant channel.