After performing 40 weddings in the year 2022 I thought I’d look back at all the different ways couples had met. The results may surprise you. Some of the couples had been together for a helluva long time before walking down the aisle. I had a couple that had been together for 19 years after meeting at a drunken 18th birthday party (watch from the 6 min mark) and another couple that were together for 14 years after meeting out drunk at an Irish pub. Being an Irish pub I think it was mandated that you had to be drunk upon entry. For all the negatives associated with alcohol, the one thing it is pretty effective at is being a wingman for shy daters. Is daters a word? It is now! The following list will be a breakdown of the top 5 ways couples met resulting in a marriage and some honourable mentions at the end.
5. At work
There was a tie for the 5th, 4th and 3rd position all adding up to 5 occasions out of 40 (12.5%). Three of the couples were teenagers at the time and used the same move, rostering themselves onto the same shifts, here is a working at Kmart story, and here is when the bride used a Ralph Wiggum pick up line and the 3rd couple was a customer/staff relationship via chicken treat. This is the line straight from their wedding:
"Cam’s first memory of Brook was when she worked at chicken treat. She would give him her breasts, thighs and legs for a discount or some extra on the side. Oh, as well as some free chicken too. Brooke remembers Cam coming in for some food after a game in his soccer uniform and instantly felt that he was the real treat in Chicken Treat.”
I’m quite surprised that there weren’t more workplace flings. I think that PC culture is making romance in the workplace a thing of the past and if you work in politics I think that’s for the best. You can be the judge if you think that’s a positive or a negative but personally, I never shit where I eat. I was a high school teacher for 10 years so I didn’t ever want any conflicts occurring in the department that I worked in. Especially knowing that if things turned sour it makes the way you pay rent much more difficult. Secondly as a marriage celebrant, all of my colleagues/clients are engaged! Thirdly as a comedian that hosts Sunday Singles, I’ve seen it all and honestly... who would want to date a comedian!
4. From School
All five of the couples who met this way were real life high school sweet hearts. Two of the couples met first in primary school then reconnected at leavers later in life, again via our good friend alcohol. It’s funny that most of the time their first memory consists of what their partners fashion was like at the time. I’ve had the emo’s, the weird trucker hats with faces on them, Gallas and Nike air max’s all being prominent.
"Bryce remembers Britt rocking up to the first assembly of the year in the gym wearing the girl equivalent of sneakers and jeans, ASIC joggers and a skirt. You’ve heard of sneans, Britt started skoggers. He could obviously tell she was one of the new girls, as someone shouted out “she doesn’t even go here” On a serious note he loved her eyes and the emo front fringe attracted him to her like a goth to the city church or Traino. The sealer was that she looked very much like Katy Perry and baby all the fireworks went off making him want to Roar and kiss a girl, coz he liked her."
I grew up as a “country kid” in the Swan Valley and I didn’t know what “going out” with someone was when I moved to the ”city” when I was 10. I’ll never forget my mate asking me “Will you go out with Kassie?” My response was “Where?” He had to explain that I didn’t actually have to go anywhere with her. I still couldn’t comprehend it, asking if I had to buy her flowers, or go to the movies and he educated me that I didn’t have to do anything just say yes. It sounded pretty easy so I agreed. The next day I asked what do I do when I don’t want to “go out” with them anymore. He replied with “dump her.” I didn’t know how to do that and he informed me that he would go tell her she’s dumped. Just like that I had my first “girlfriend” for a day. I went on to have 10 girlfriends that year, speak face to face with only 1 of them and kiss 0 of them. But damn my love letters were on point! Come to think of it, writing those love letters was probably my pre apprenticeship to celebrancy.
3. Pubs and Clubs!
I love heading out to a Sunday sesh or nightspot to meet people so it surprised me that only 5 of my couples met out at random. It has made me rethink my entire dating strategy at age 35. I’m stoked that one of my couples did meet at the hip e club and sets on the beach because they were my two favourite party spots throughout my 20s. The other three love pubs and clubs in Perth for my couples were The Grosvenor, Durty Nelly’s and Ambar for that early morning cupid’s arrow…stamped onto an ecstacy pill.
Their story started at one of the most romantic places in Perth, 3am at Ambar. Poss was dancing while her friend Taryn was off talking to someone as usual, she talks a lot. Most people are quite chatty at 3am in Ambar for some reason...
2. Mutual Friends
I have married 4 or 5 couples that I was directly involved in introducing. These are some of my favourite weddings to do because it’s a love story that gets to come full circle. Maybe I need to try and introduce myself via myself and I’ll have more luck!
One of my best mates used to use my facebook to e-introduce himself to girls I was friends with online. He actually ended up getting married and having 2 kids with a girl he met through my facebook, so I was inadvertently one of these mutual friends.
In total 9 of the 40 couples met via a wingman/wingwoman/winggroup. They primarily meet at a pre drinks or on a night out. Two of the couples surprisingly were set up on blind dates which I respect purely due to the amount of courage that would take to physically attend. My favourite story is of how a whole group of friends strategically all left the scene leaving couple unknowingly on their own.
“All of their friends had organised drinks at the Revely and a day at mini golf then deliberately didn’t show up to the golf game forcing these two on a date to get some alone time together. This meant Longy scored a birdie before playing a stroke but Jess claims she won the game.”
1. Dating Apps, specifically Tinder!
The whole inspiration for writing this blog was due to noticing just how many weddings occurred thanks to this much maligned app. It didn’t matter the age of the couple or social status there were just so many successful matches. Out of the 10 couples who met via a dating app, 8 of these were Tinder with the other 2 being bumble. One of my favourite stories is of the groom spotting a girl he knew on there, screen shotting it and then sending it to her asking why she was on tinder. Watch the video here.
Personally I have never met anyone I’ve matched with on tinder, nor gone on a date from it. Not from lack of swiping but I think I just get bored after writing 2 lines. My ADHD standing for Absolutely Destroying Heaps of Dates.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS
Some honourable mentions of other ways people met. There was one couple that met at speed dating. The bride was only there to support her friend getting out of the house and ended up getting a whole new house with her husband. Surprisingly, my dream way to meet a girl happened 3 times. They were literally the girl next door. Three separate times I had the groom marry the girl he lived next door to!
What does this mean for 2023?
If things keep progressing the way they are I think that I am going to be hearing less and less of work place romances and more online dating success stories. Mutual friends and dating apps accounted for 19/40 matches so just under 50%. So in order to find love maybe it's time to get some professional head shots done and jazz up the tinder profile or go and make more friends and hope they like you enough to match you up with their near and dear!
For me, I'm looking at purchasing my first home this year, who knows if my future wife will live right next door! With 2 success stories occuring at the gym, maybe my new years resolution may bring me health and some hunnies? I might have to trust my friends that want to hook me up because heading out to pubs and clubs to try and find a mate seems like its more of the "thirsty" games where the odds may never be in my favour!
To keep up to date with future weddings make sure to subscribe to my website, follow my instagram, to hear about my dating life come and check out my Fringe Show 33 Years Single and keep an eye out for my Perth Comedy Festival show being announced soon.
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